Making a Home: One Month in Padova

Dave posted a while back that we had a routine down and that he was comfortable in Padova. While I agree that everything was going well, it has really taken me longer to feel like we have a home here.

This first month has been spent just getting oriented. Where do we get food? How do we get around? What do we need to purchase to live here comfortably? Can we run the dishwasher and the washing machine at the same time? (No, as it turns out.)

We aren't totally there yet. I still have to get the grocery loyalty card, which will be one step towards minimizing our expenditures. We will see which of the community of people (there are quite a few) who have reached out to help us will become authentic friends. We have to do some sightseeing, including having the boys visit Dave's building, which has parts of it that are original to around the year 1200.

We had no interest in any day or weekend trips up to this point, but now that we have a home base, we are venturing to Venice tomorrow for the night. You'll see more about that sooner rather than later, I hope. I have a bunch of posts that are drafted in some form, but tonight I'll add some expectations I had coming into this, and what reality looks like after a month.

The Boys
   Expectation: They would struggle during the first two weeks of school, and we would see some
   unhappiness.
   Reality: The boys have been out-of-whack, but not unhappy, this entire month.

From teaching experience, I know that the first two weeks as a language newcomer can be especially rough. Some of my younger students have been in tears for that whole period of time. I was not confident that we would avoid tears. Ben has been anxious about going to school in Italy from the get-go. He always has a tough exterior, but there is a lot going on inside. I imagined that he might break down at pickup or before school. Ethan is really dramatic, so he was a wild card.
I've really appreciated that we haven't had unhappiness. Neither of them was thrilled that we were leaving them the first morning, but after reminding them that school only lasted 5.5 hours, they were ok. There were a few mornings that they didn't want to get up or leave the apartment, but that happens in Michigan.
What has TOTALLY thrown me is their behavior at home after school. They are wild animals. Their behavior is almost feral at times, and it has made me crazy. Spending time in a new environment, pretty much silent the whole time, they have so much to release at the end of the day, and they do it at home. This looks like physically playing with and fighting with each other, climbing the furniture, completely ignoring me... it demands all of my attention. Even to the point that I can't step away to make dinner. I'm glad that Italy is known for their wine.

I nostri amici (Our Friends)

Tyler, how do you open a bottle of wine?

We began this adventure three countries ago in Austria with Lynne and Tyler and their family. Before we left, I was looking forward to seeing them and spending time with them. As we traveled, I started to realize how much more comfortable I felt with them around. Lynne and Tyler lived in Italy for almost two years a while back, and had just spent six weeks teaching in Italy before we arrived. On top of their fantastic company, we basically had private tour guides to help us with language and culture. They are amazing.

More kids = Benefit!

Traveling with kids is definitely an adventure. There were many, many times during our days of multi-country travel that I appreciated the fact Ben and Ethan can pretty much get themselves from place to place. We can even count on them to transport a bag or two, so they are starting to pull their weight.

They may have been arguing over who got to push.
I'm going to remember that they were working as a team.

One thing Oscar and Alma
learned more about
due to our boys.

Lynne and Tyler's kids are four and one. They are an absolute joy, though I was reminded of how much harder traveling was when Ben and Ethan were younger. My feeling is that having extra kids and adults around usually helps with kid-wrangling, because as a parent you get at least a few moments of a break and have a few more hands to make sure that nobody dies. (We only lost a child once, and only one child tried to leave a train at the wrong stop.)

More education passed on by our boys.
Look at the view!

The interaction between the kids was fun to watch. It took a few days for them to warm up to each other, but after that they were good buddies. Ethan enjoys playing imaginary games in a way that Ben never did. Having Oscar around to pretend with him allowed him to be a young kid instead of trying to be grown up with Ben. At the same time, Oscar picked up some of my boys' interests and habits. He had more exposure to technology (screens) than normal because of my kids, and hopefully he will forget the fighting games the boys were playing. Ben and Alma were good buddies- Ben loves babies and toddlers, and seeing him interact with them is when I love that kid the most. He puts up a hard shell most of the time, but got right down on Alma's level to play and talk with her. Her understanding of Italian helped Ben try a few words and gain some exposure to the language, which will help him moving on into school. Finally, all four kids got involved with playing soccer by the time we left. It was pretty chilly on the last few days, but they would be outside for long periods of time playing together.

Mike and Liz joined us in Piemonte. We all know Mike from grad school in Ann Arbor, and he and Liz live in Portland now. They spent some time in London and the Milano area before joining us, as it was Liz's first time in Europe. We enjoyed checking out the surrounding area with them and hearing about their longer-distance adventures (they took a few day trips that we opted out of due to the kids) over dinners of fresh pasta, polpette, salsiccia (sausage), etc., etc. We spent a few evenings playing cards and watching basketball, when Tyler, Mike, and Dave weren't enjoying the evening view from the rooftop terrace.

It wasn't until everyone was leaving that I realized we will be completely on our own for a bit. Our first visitors are not scheduled to be here until later in March. We may not have anyone to speak English comfortably with until then! It's a weird feeling not to know when you are going to have a relaxed visit with friends- much less friends that are like family. This was the perfect start to our Italian adventure!

Ciao, amici. Ci manchi già!

Later, friends. We miss you already!

Checklists

I have a tendency to procrastinate. For a trip like this, I have to work actively to make sure that I don't leave too much to the last minute, though. Since this summer, I've been working to prepare everything that needs to fall into place to leave our house, packed, on December 21. Now that we are three weeks out (!), I am trying to do something every day to keep the checklist for the last week down.

This past week's checklist:
 -Order Christmas gifts
 -Pack and store a box of clothes from our closet
 -Purchase supplies to restock the house between renters
 -(I swear I did more than this!)

Next week's checklist:
 -Pack and store another box from our closet
 -Go to the airport for the Global Entry Interview
 -Mail Christmas cards
 -Start wrapping Christmas gifts
 -Put up our Christmas tree
 -Sort and store supplies to restock the house between renters
 -Send handwritten note to the boys' school to unenroll them

At some point I will have a final checklist. I'm not ready to do that yet!

We're Going to Italy!

Talk of a sabbatical in Italy began about two years ago. My husband, Dave, is a professor at Eastern Michigan University, and at that point he was just earning the ability to apply for sabbatical. The destination was never even slightly in question. My husband likes to pretend he is Italian. I can't remember exactly when or how it started. His father's family is Polish, and his mom's family is German (he has the lederhosen to prove it). But by his early twenties, Dave had decided to learn to cook Italian food and had started teaching himself the language. Dave and I have taken two trips to Italy- one pre-kids and one when Ben was two. Always one to go after what he wants, my husband wrote to several Italian universities to request that they sponsor his sabbatical. Lo and behold, we will be spending winter 2019 in Padova, Italy.

It took a year for Dave to fully convince me that going was a good idea. Don't get me wrong- I love to travel. I was fortunate to visit Mexico, Australia, Europe (including Italy), and many U.S. destinations before I graduated from high school. This adventure is right up my alley- except that we are now adults with responsibilities. Kids, our house, my job... all of these have been the source of a fair amount of anxiety for me.

Ethan and Ben are in first and fourth grades. This is the time to go. Ethan is now reading well enough that learning to read in Italian won't cause any lasting delays, and Ben will be back home for his fifth grade year and the beginning of middle school. Kids pick up language quickly. I know this, because I teach elementary English learners. They know some Italian vocabulary, so they won't be starting from ground zero. Kids learn English in Italian public schools, so there will be people there that can greet them and help them out.

I've spent a chunk of the last few months prepping our house to leave. We have purged a ton of belongings. I've taken pictures and listed the house on sabbatical housing websites and Airbnb. We've had three sets of strangers rent the house to give us reviews (and offset some of my future lost income). We have done some major renovations to the house, which makes it attractive to others, but haven't invested much recently in furniture or decor that can be ruined.

Job anxiety comes from two places. One is the obvious- lack of income. Dave will still make his salary while on sabbatical, but I won't. We have planned well, paying down a lot of debt and saving as much as possible for the last year. Less obvious (or, perhaps, logical) is the fact that I am not entirely comfortable not working. I battled the feeling that I would be 'letting people down' at work by leaving school for a semester. Teaching is a serious profession to me, and I feel strongly about my commitment to my students. That's been the biggest hurdle to clear as far as my feelings toward the trip- and it has helped immensely that everyone at work has been incredibly supportive of me and excited about this opportunity!

We're going to Italy! I'm finally incredibly, over-the-moon, thoughts clouding every free moment, excited about this! The boys and I (and hopefully Dave) will be documenting parts of our trip here. (Thanks to the Knotts for the inspiration.) We're looking forward to the adventure, and to sharing it with all of you.